Asking for your help.

Hi all, Hope everyone is doing well.

I posted a blog entry the other day about Arianna's birthday, and then deleted it....after some anxiety about sharing it, as I'm usually more reserved in the sharing department.
Some have asked to see the post, so I'm going to post again. For those that have seen it already, sorry for the double posting. And sorry to those who got the link after I deleted it, and then seen my last post again.

It's February.

February always feels like a balance act, with so many seemingly conflicting emotions. Happiness and sadness. Celebrations and longing. More love and grief than I ever thought possible. This month, Arianna would be turning 7. And Zion will be turning 6. A very bittersweet month, for sure. We usually "celebrate" Arianna's birthday a few days early, so we can try and mainly focus on Zion on the actual day. We usually go to one of our favorite spots....Tahoe, the ocean....somewhere that brings our family comfort. We release balloons, have some cupcakes, share her memories. We've always done it privately, and have never asked anyone to help us celebrate her life. This year, we want to try something different, and want you to help us.

As parents living without our child, it is necessary, and healing for us to talk about Arianna, to share her story to hear and see of her being remembered. To make sure the world doesn't forget her completely, and to know that her life mattered and still does matter. Her name is mentioned several times a day in our home....but we don't talk very openly about her often outside of our house. So, we just want to shake up our routine some this year.

We seen a post on pinterest that was aimed for parents who have lost a child. It was about different ways of celebrating the birthdays after a child has passed away. One that stood out to us was having people write their child's name in different formats. (out of chalk on the sidewalk, rocks on the beach, out of food, etc). We decided to change it up a bit, and since we have friends and family all across the globe, we thought it would be amazing to see her name in all different places....somewhere that makes you happy in your home town, or somewhere you visit...even if it's in our own town. (For example, the ocean in Hawaii, Disney World in Florida, in front of some kangaroos in Australia, or moose in Alaska, the strip in Las Vegas....you get the idea?) And it can be as simple as writing her name on a piece of paper and holding it up, and sending the pictures by email, text or mail. We will then turn them into a picture book to cherish.

You can send pics to:
Email: NVDoula@aol.com
Text: 775-443-0917
Address: 981 Tillman Lane, Gardnerville, NV 89460

One example, thanks to my friend Monique. Ari's name at Lake Tahoe.

Taking a big, scary, exciting step.

Prior to Arianna's birth and death, most of you know, I was a doula. My passion was to help families bring their babies into the world....something that never, ever ceased to amaze me. Then Ari was born. And died. And along with it, my passion died. A few weeks later, a good friend lost her baby as well. It was all just too much, and I never went back.

After almost 7 years, and many, many tears, fears, prayers and questioning of my ability, I've decided to jump in with both feet, and recertify. Tonight I finished my registration and finished paying tuition....and now, I'm both excited and feeling like I could crawl out of my skin. I'm excited to restart this journey, and I'm scared out of my mind at the same time.

I will be recertifying as a labor/birth/postpartum doula, with an emphasis on bereavement and bereavement support. My focus will be on healthy pregnancies and births and lactation support, but will be available to those who are enduring the loss of their baby during pregnancy, birth or after. (Lord, I'm praying that part of my job is not used often.) I will also continue with my photography business, and will incorporate the two together.

In March, I will start classes. Acupressure, CPR, etc. The official doula training starts April 6.

I can use a lot of prayers, good luck, and accountability during these months. These are emotionally challenging months as it is with Arianna's birthday and death....so I could just use the extra support. Especially with the CPR classes. I have not been able to sit through an entire class or pass a class since I did CPR on Ari and the thought of it makes me ill. Please pray that I can get through it. In one piece. Without the trauma getting the best of me.

Thanks!

Ps. Everyone else is currently doing well, and healthy. Strep is finally gone.

January update and pics

Hi all, Hope everyone is doing well, and had a great Christmas and New Years!

 

We are all hanging in there. The end of December and the month of January have been a challenge, as strep throat made it's rounds between all the kids THREE times and we have spent many days in the ER or doctors office. I'm nervous to say it, but I think they are finally on the mend.

 

Ken's arm is still broken, so he's been unable to return to work, but with all the strep and everything else going on, I suppose it's been a blessing. He is doing well...the doctor just wants his arm to heal a little more before going back to work.The decrease in pay stinks, but having him home to help with the kids through all these doctor appointments has been nice. More than likely he will be back to work next week.

 

Other than that, I think we're doing alright. On January 18th, Kai'Lani turned 10! It doesn't seem possible. Such a sweet girl she has become with an incredible heart.

 

Makenley is now 10 months old. She's a sweet, feisty little girl. She now says momma, daddy, hi, by, Kai. She can tell you the noise a sheep and a cow make, and LOVES the Frozen movie. She tries to sing the songs...quite possibly the cutest thing ever. She waves, claps, dances, climbs, and very mobile with crawling. She's our biggest baby at this age, but probably our smallest eater. Still not much of a fan for solids, and is still content just nursing or taking a bottle

 

Sierra is in the process of starting a grief support group for kids and parents who have lost a child or sibling, or for those who are supporting someone who has gone through the loss. She has a great vision for the group, and I'm excited to see where she's going to take it. We are letting her make all the calls...it's all her ideas, her doing. We're just supporting her, and helping when she needs it. This past week she had the opportunity to meet with a beautiful young girl who wrote a book on grief, and they sat down and brainstormed ideas on what they can do that will help others in the bereaved community and help get more resources here locally. Very proud of her and her ambition.

 

https://www.facebook.com/ariannasday

 

I think that's it for us for now. :)

 

Here are some January pictures.

 

Take care!

 

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My world.

Precious moments with our oldest and youngest. <3

 

Our little 'Frozen' princess. Wearing it, watching it, and playing with the dolls.

A girl after my own heart. Practicing techniques with her camera. :)

Sierra and Bridget Parks, Author of Growing Young.