As I sit here reflecting on this past year, I'm finding it hard to describe what this year really brought in a short post.
This year has definitely been a roller coaster ride. At times, I couldn't wait for the ride to be over. Other times, I was able to just sit and focus on the ride. Sometimes during the ride, I was terrified for my own life, or the lives of my family. Other times, I clung to the safety bar by the tips of my fingers, unsure if I was going to be able to keep holding on. And then, other times, there was laughter and excitement and I was able to let my grasp ease a little, but not long after, was white knuckling that bar, hoping for some reassurance that all would be okay in this ride that has become our life, holding on with every ounce of strength I had.
This year has been far from easy. By the grace of God, and the support of the thousands who surrounded us and lifted us up when we could barely pick our own heads up is what got us through. Next to the year that we lost our daughter, Arianna, this has probably been the most challenging year for us as a family. We have laughed. We have cried. We have felt, we have been numb. We've been isolated, we've been surrounded by others wanting to help. We've been angry, we've been calm. We've been fearful, we've been faithful. We've been helped, we've helped. Probably every range of emotion has been felt this year, sometimes all in one day.
This year, while difficult, has also taught us so very much. We've learned a bit about our selves and own strengths and weaknesses. Strength we didn't know we had, surfaced out of the depths of our soul when it was most needed. We learned, once again, that Ken and I work really well together under pressure, and therefore, we manage to hold it together for the most part. It's after that pressure lessens, and we can breathe a little easier, is when we crumble, and love and patience is needed even more. We've learned that once again, we're pretty in tuned to our children, and our intuitions run strong. We've learned our kids are beyond wise for their ages, have the most gigantic hearts of any humans I know, are very resilient, and love their siblings fiercely. We've learned that the community that surrounds us in our valley, is a community like no other and we are beyond blessed to be a part of it. We've learned over and over again to be humble. To allow the community to come beside us, to lift us in prayer, to accept meals, to let others take a bit of the load off our shoulders that cancer and illness and death and life situations brought, and that it doesn't mean we're weak. Probably the most uncomfortable thing to do for a person who tries to 'handle it all'....but a lesson well learned over and over again the past year. We've learned that the internet makes the world so much smaller, and people we never met in different countries can be just as supportive. We've learned that some family members can become strangers and some strangers can become family. And we've learned again, to appreciate the days when everyone is healthy, and to not just take it for granted. We've been once again reminded of the value of each day. We've learned more about cancer, brain tumors, surgery, neurological issues and procedures than I ever cared to know about. We've learned about migraine control, the best routes to get to Oakland Children's Hospital during rush hour, we've learned how to pick up the phone and call or text to ask for prayers, we've learned to not try and do this alone! I could go on and on.
In the midst of the hard moments, there was joy. There was a lot of laughter. A LOT of new friendships. There were a lot of good and new experiences and life changing memory making. There were successes, fears that were overcome, past issues worked through, forgiveness found and recieved, there was healing, AND there was love. A whole lot of love. There was soccer. And photo shoots. And classes passed that used to seem impossible. There was whale watching, beach days, walking with the giant redwoods, family meet ups, trips to Vegas, friendships reunited and long lost friends found, job promotions, snow days, glider flights, concerts, camping in Yosemite, jumping off waterfalls, watching the kokanee salmon spawn and momma bears five feet away. There were sleepovers and birthdays, 4th of July celebrations and fireworks on the beach, swim days, play dates, date nights, and anticipation for our upcoming trip to Hawaii. There were crafts, church functions, martial arts, fort building, nature watching, butterfly catching moments. There were fishing derbies, fishing on the pier till sunset, raccoon watching, bird rescuing, cabins on the beach weekends. There were shark tanks, barbeques, smores, and kayaking. There were school plays, Merry Market, Art shows, band concerts and Thanksgiving Feasts. There were giant fish, giant dandelions, and giant storms. There were lots of bubbles, glow sticks, balloons, and snuggles.. Coffee dates, lunch dates. There were carnivals and rainbows and amazing photo opportunities. There were new dreams that were dreamt, old dreams that suddenly felt reachable, and some dreams lost. There were friendships started, friendships lost, births of beautiful babies, and deaths of beautiful friends.
This next year, we start by going on Sierra's Make A Wish trip. A Hawaiian island hopping cruise. We leave January 8th. We're hoping that this will be a good year full of good health for all.
We pray everyone had a great Christmas, and is having a safe New Years! Much love to all of you. We are so thankful that you are a part of our lives and our journey.
Some pics that recap this past year.
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