Asking for your help.

Hi all, Hope everyone is doing well.

I posted a blog entry the other day about Arianna's birthday, and then deleted it....after some anxiety about sharing it, as I'm usually more reserved in the sharing department.
Some have asked to see the post, so I'm going to post again. For those that have seen it already, sorry for the double posting. And sorry to those who got the link after I deleted it, and then seen my last post again.

It's February.

February always feels like a balance act, with so many seemingly conflicting emotions. Happiness and sadness. Celebrations and longing. More love and grief than I ever thought possible. This month, Arianna would be turning 7. And Zion will be turning 6. A very bittersweet month, for sure. We usually "celebrate" Arianna's birthday a few days early, so we can try and mainly focus on Zion on the actual day. We usually go to one of our favorite spots....Tahoe, the ocean....somewhere that brings our family comfort. We release balloons, have some cupcakes, share her memories. We've always done it privately, and have never asked anyone to help us celebrate her life. This year, we want to try something different, and want you to help us.

As parents living without our child, it is necessary, and healing for us to talk about Arianna, to share her story to hear and see of her being remembered. To make sure the world doesn't forget her completely, and to know that her life mattered and still does matter. Her name is mentioned several times a day in our home....but we don't talk very openly about her often outside of our house. So, we just want to shake up our routine some this year.

We seen a post on pinterest that was aimed for parents who have lost a child. It was about different ways of celebrating the birthdays after a child has passed away. One that stood out to us was having people write their child's name in different formats. (out of chalk on the sidewalk, rocks on the beach, out of food, etc). We decided to change it up a bit, and since we have friends and family all across the globe, we thought it would be amazing to see her name in all different places....somewhere that makes you happy in your home town, or somewhere you visit...even if it's in our own town. (For example, the ocean in Hawaii, Disney World in Florida, in front of some kangaroos in Australia, or moose in Alaska, the strip in Las Vegas....you get the idea?) And it can be as simple as writing her name on a piece of paper and holding it up, and sending the pictures by email, text or mail. We will then turn them into a picture book to cherish.

You can send pics to:
Email: NVDoula@aol.com
Text: 775-443-0917
Address: 981 Tillman Lane, Gardnerville, NV 89460

One example, thanks to my friend Monique. Ari's name at Lake Tahoe.

Taking a big, scary, exciting step.

Prior to Arianna's birth and death, most of you know, I was a doula. My passion was to help families bring their babies into the world....something that never, ever ceased to amaze me. Then Ari was born. And died. And along with it, my passion died. A few weeks later, a good friend lost her baby as well. It was all just too much, and I never went back.

After almost 7 years, and many, many tears, fears, prayers and questioning of my ability, I've decided to jump in with both feet, and recertify. Tonight I finished my registration and finished paying tuition....and now, I'm both excited and feeling like I could crawl out of my skin. I'm excited to restart this journey, and I'm scared out of my mind at the same time.

I will be recertifying as a labor/birth/postpartum doula, with an emphasis on bereavement and bereavement support. My focus will be on healthy pregnancies and births and lactation support, but will be available to those who are enduring the loss of their baby during pregnancy, birth or after. (Lord, I'm praying that part of my job is not used often.) I will also continue with my photography business, and will incorporate the two together.

In March, I will start classes. Acupressure, CPR, etc. The official doula training starts April 6.

I can use a lot of prayers, good luck, and accountability during these months. These are emotionally challenging months as it is with Arianna's birthday and death....so I could just use the extra support. Especially with the CPR classes. I have not been able to sit through an entire class or pass a class since I did CPR on Ari and the thought of it makes me ill. Please pray that I can get through it. In one piece. Without the trauma getting the best of me.

Thanks!

Ps. Everyone else is currently doing well, and healthy. Strep is finally gone.

January update and pics

Hi all, Hope everyone is doing well, and had a great Christmas and New Years!

 

We are all hanging in there. The end of December and the month of January have been a challenge, as strep throat made it's rounds between all the kids THREE times and we have spent many days in the ER or doctors office. I'm nervous to say it, but I think they are finally on the mend.

 

Ken's arm is still broken, so he's been unable to return to work, but with all the strep and everything else going on, I suppose it's been a blessing. He is doing well...the doctor just wants his arm to heal a little more before going back to work.The decrease in pay stinks, but having him home to help with the kids through all these doctor appointments has been nice. More than likely he will be back to work next week.

 

Other than that, I think we're doing alright. On January 18th, Kai'Lani turned 10! It doesn't seem possible. Such a sweet girl she has become with an incredible heart.

 

Makenley is now 10 months old. She's a sweet, feisty little girl. She now says momma, daddy, hi, by, Kai. She can tell you the noise a sheep and a cow make, and LOVES the Frozen movie. She tries to sing the songs...quite possibly the cutest thing ever. She waves, claps, dances, climbs, and very mobile with crawling. She's our biggest baby at this age, but probably our smallest eater. Still not much of a fan for solids, and is still content just nursing or taking a bottle

 

Sierra is in the process of starting a grief support group for kids and parents who have lost a child or sibling, or for those who are supporting someone who has gone through the loss. She has a great vision for the group, and I'm excited to see where she's going to take it. We are letting her make all the calls...it's all her ideas, her doing. We're just supporting her, and helping when she needs it. This past week she had the opportunity to meet with a beautiful young girl who wrote a book on grief, and they sat down and brainstormed ideas on what they can do that will help others in the bereaved community and help get more resources here locally. Very proud of her and her ambition.

 

https://www.facebook.com/ariannasday

 

I think that's it for us for now. :)

 

Here are some January pictures.

 

Take care!

 

.

 

My world.

Precious moments with our oldest and youngest. <3

 

Our little 'Frozen' princess. Wearing it, watching it, and playing with the dolls.

A girl after my own heart. Practicing techniques with her camera. :)

Sierra and Bridget Parks, Author of Growing Young.

 

 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas!

I am so not with the program this year. Usually, I have my Christmas Cards printed, addressed and stamped by Thanksgiving and in the mail the day after. This year, they've been printed, but have sat on a shelf waiting to be prepared. I've gotten out two. Yes. TWO of them. And those ones were hand delivered. So, I figured I would at least send a quick end of the year update this way, post some pictures, and if I get around to getting the cards out, it will be a bonus. Sorry. This is just a strange holiday season for me.

In January:  Sierra threw us an amazing surprise baby shower for Makenley. She recruited the help of some of our friends, and it turned out fantastic. Kai'Lani turned 9 on the 18th.

In February: We celebrated Arianna's birthday with cupcakes and a balloon release. We also celebrated Zion's Birthday. Arianna would have turned 6, and Zion turned 5 on the 27th. We continued to prepare for Makenley's arrival. We also got a puppy--Cookie.

In March: We welcomed our beautiful Makenley to the world on March 10th. She made quite the entrance with her rapid delivery. No doctors made it, no NICU staff made it....our nurse caught her alone. She was 4lbs 2 oz, 18" long, and absolutely beautiful. A week after her birth, we almost lost her, due to an accident by a nurse in the NICU....but thankfully she recovered. Most of March was spent in the NICU and the Ronald McDonald House in Reno, as we anxiously waited for her discharge. She came home the last weekend of March.

In April: Phoenix started Baseball, and played for the Cubs. We remembered Arianna on the 5th, and celebrated our anniversary on the 24th.

In May: Sierra turned 12 on the 21st! There were lots of baseball games.

In June: There were warm days....Makeneley went to the beach for the first time. There were carnivals, baseball games, concerts in the park, Carson Valley Days, sleepovers, campfires and smores.

In July: Bryce turned 4 years old on the 1st. We did Hometown Celebrations, bike parades, concerts in the park, 4th of July celebrations at Lake Tahoe. We went to Muir Woods Monument in California and the ocean. We had two large pools set up in the back yard, so there were a lot of swim days.

In August: Phoenix turned 8 on the 12th. More baseball games, large---very large sleepovers for the kids (20+ extra kids for one!). Campouts, fishing, beach days, bike rides, firepits, and friends seemed to be the themes as we said goodbye to summer break. In August, Sierra started 7th grade and her first year of middle school, Kai'Lani started 4th grade, Phoenix 3rd, Zion started all day kindergarten, and Bryce started preschool. Bryce landed himself an ambulance trip and overnight stay in the hospital after coming down with an awful respiratory infection, but recovered quickly and came home the next day. All kids are doing well in school and enjoying their classes. I had surgery.

In September: All 5 of our kids started soccer. Ken and Sierra were also referees. The rest of the next two months we lived and breathed soccer.

In October: October was SIDS and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. There were proclamations signed, newspaper and news interviews and speeches and presentations. There was soccer and more soccer. There was Halloween and school dances, Nevada Day parades and at last....the end of soccer season. Makenley started saying her first words--"Momma", "Dad" and "hi".

In November: There were snow days. There was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving plays and feasts in school. Thanksgiving spent with friends. There were NICU reunions for Makenley, and fun in the fall leaves. Phoenix brought home a straight A report card (after struggling last year...huge improvement!). The kids took flying lessons through the Young Eagles Flying club. Sierra actually got to fly the plane over Carson and Virginia Cities.

In December: There have been Christmas parades. Christmas plays. Christmas dances. Makenley cut her first tooth. Winter break and shopping. I had another surgery last week and Ken broke his arm. Tomorrow is Christmas...and Makenley's first Christmas. Tonight there will be lots of wrapping. Lots and lots wrapping. :)

It's been a whirlwind of a year.

We hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas and a very Happy New Years! Here's to hoping 2015 is a good year! Love to all of you.

Love,
The Terhune Family

Hi all! Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving.

Haven't posted any new pics in a while......so here are some recent ones.

Hope you all are doing well.

Amber

Today is SIDS and Pregancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Today is SIDS and Pregnancy and Infant/Child Loss Awareness Day.

A day of remembrance for all of our sweet babies. Whether it's miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other type of death.

Each year on October 15, at 7:00 pm, in all time zones, people light candles to participate in the 'Wave of Light'. Events take place all over the world. Memorial walks, candle light vigils, etc.

Our family always participates. We light candles. We hang out together as a family, and allow everyone to share whatever is on their hearts. We pray for all the babies, and the families who ache so badly for them. We let the kids pray. We let them talk about their sister, or ask questions if they want to. We cry. We smile and laugh. We long for our babies. We remember. We snuggle and hold each other tight. We thank God for the time we had with our missing babies and the time we have with our six living babies.

It seems to be one of the few days that we allow ourselves to feel and express our feelings without a filter. It's one hour of the year that we lay our masks down. That we give up fitting into society's one size fits all, three days to grieve, grief mold....we let go of the unrealistic expectations that we should be over her loss. Or that it shouldn't hurt, still.

Reality is, it hurts....still. And on days like today, where friends pictures from all over the world start popping up on my Facebook newsfeed as they light their candles....it gets a little raw. The numbers are insane. Too many babies. Too many families trying to survive without their babies. This 'club' is just too large. Too large for it not to be talked about, not to be more funded for research. It makes no sense.

Different continents, countries, time zones, languages.....it's amazing to me how the one common thread we have as grieving parents, makes us more like family. Of course, I would prefer not to have met any of these families. I would prefer to have all my babies, and for them to have theirs. But I am incredibly thankful for this 'family'.

Tomorrow we'll put our masks back on. But for today, it's been nice to be able to lay down our masks, and be real and raw....along side the thousands of other grieving moms and dads and brothers and sisters and grandparents.

Thinking of all these precious babies, and praying for the families who miss them more than words could ever express.

Some pictures from today....

From Reno, NV

From Perrysburg, Ohio

From Dallas, Texas

From Chapel Hill, North Carolina

From Burlson, Texas

From Illinois

This year, Niagra Falls was lit pink and blue for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day!

These ones are our display. A baby's name on each candle.